PHILEMON

Boss: Where were you born?
Philemon: Zimbabwe.
Boss: Which part?
Philemon: What "which part"? Whole body was born in Zimbabwe.

Philemon and his friend were fixing a bomb in a car.
Friend: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing?
Philemon: Don't worry, i have one more.

Philemon: What is the name of your car?
Lady: i forgot the name but it starts with 'T'.
Philemon: Oh, what a strange car,starts with tea. All cars that i know start with petrol

Philemon joined a new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what Philemon did till evening.
Philemon: Keyboard letters were not in Alphabetical order, so i made it alright.

Museum admin: That's a 500-year old statue you've broken.
Philemon: Thank God: I thought it was a new one

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand,oh
Philemon: Control yourself. Don,t cry. see that man, he has lost his head,is he crying?

Philemon: you cheated me.
shopkeeper: no, i sold a good radio to you
Philemon: Radio label shows made in Japan but radio says this is radio zimbabwe!

Tourist: whose skeleton is that?
Philemon: an old king's skeleton.
Tourist: whose is that smaller skeleton next to it?
Philemon: that was the same king when he was a child.

Philemon: you know somebody actually complimented on my driving today. they left a note on my windscreen and it said, "parking fine". so that was nice!